The Life Changing Gift
By Kiara Caldwell, a senior at Arizona State University
Most people would be offended if they received the gift that I did on Christmas.
I unwrapped a blue bikini with silver stars across it, which I didn’t understand why (since it's winter) until I realized it had a deeper meaning- a life-changing meaning. My mom smiled as she explained that they represented 16 weeks of pre-paid personal training to prepare me to compete in my first NPC Teen Bikini bodybuilding competition.
I cried uncontrollably while my brother stared at me confused. This gift made my goals of a higher level of fitness a reality. My mother was not calling me fat or pushing me towards weight loss. She was giving me hope and something to look forward to because she knew about my struggle with body image.
To gain enough confidence to walk across a stage in a fitness bikini might sound superficial, but to me it meant everything. To get judged on the definition of my muscles, stage presence and posing, was a clear reflection of my determination and commitment to a higher level of fitness.
Little did I know, my fitness journey would transform my life not only physically, but mentally, too.
Growing Up
Body image has been a lifelong problem for me. I would avoid swimming pools and showing my body in general. It started back in elementary school when I would tie a jacket around my waist to hide the size of my butt and I still remember the boy who called me “llama legs,” because my hips and thighs were “big.”
On my 16th birthday, I was old enough to get a gym membership, which was a big a day for me! When I first joined the gym, I did not know anything! I had to ask the front desk how to unclip the equipment. The squat rack scared me and so did having bad form and looking weak. People at the gym always tried to share their “expert” advice, too. For example, “you’re doing cardio for too long,” “use weights while lunging,” and “when are you going to work on your legs?”
It almost seemed impossible to make progress and trust that my workout routine was going to be effective.
The Rollercoaster of a Fitness Journey
Despite being 18 years old and just starting my college career, I was dedicated to taking my fitness goals to a higher level with the help of a personal trainer. Their expertise was exactly what I needed to transform my body and mind! Bodybuilding quickly became my hobby, an escape from my everyday studies, and a way to participate in a healthy activity.
My trainer provided a meal and workout plan that included one rest day, which quickly turned into no rest days, as the competition date approached. I took comparison pictures every other week and based on my results, my trainer would make adjustments to my workouts and/or meals.
The physical changes I saw in my body made me so happy! Every morning I woke up excited and began realizing that it was not a dream. I had something to look forward to when I saw my body continuously changing. I quickly understood that with hard work; comes reward.
The gift from my mother was a success. I placed top 5 in my competition and loved my new confidence but what came after would grow and challenge me the most.
Post Show
Unfortunately, I had no plans once my training ended, except, eat all the foods I was craving! As a result, I quickly learned what it felt like to lose all my hard work. I was eating all of the foods that I wasn’t supposed to when I was dieting. I didn’t realize how my mental state changed with such intense competition and how my body would physically react to what was now considered: foreign foods.
I felt freedom but very lost without the accountability and comfort of my trainer.
Three months later, I had gained back more weight than I lost (with the new gained muscle mass- yay!) and I reverted back to my sad, unconfident self. The mirror became the enemy once again and I was doing body checks, nervously touching my thighs and hyper aware of my stomach expanding after eating. At that point, I knew that I needed my trainer to help get me back on track.
Why I Love My Personal Trainer
My personal trainer gave me a platform to love my own body and the confidence to sculpt it how I wanted.
I was impacted mentally...
There were so many times that I wanted to quit but my trainer motivated me to keep going
I learned to push past (what I thought were) my limits
I gained the confidence to enter the gym knowing that I had a plan and I could execute it
I could stand proud and not worry about people judging my body
I gained patience after constantly hearing my trainer say: “trust the process.” Trainers have a way of seeing future accomplishments before they happen because they understand the formula for a high level of fitness
I learned to eat for health benefits versus pleasure/reward
I was impacted physically...
I learned proper technique and form
I lost weight
I gained lean muscle mass
My clothes fit better
I could walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded
These reasons are why I believe in personal training. I was able to put my trust in someone else and feel confident the results would follow.
Today
I am grateful for my Christmas gift because it has made me who I am today. Otherwise, I would not have learned how to make my workouts more efficient and effective. I would not have fully understood the importance of diet in fitness goals, either.
With my past success and failures behind me; I am continuing to work out at the gym regularly and am constantly striving for greatness.
I learned how to jump onto a 20 inch box, starting at 12. This is something that seemed impossible at the beginning but with practice, I built my confidence (once again). I also learned how to accomplish a strict pull up. In fitness, there is always something to improve upon, which makes it a lifelong ride.
A higher level of fitness means continuously working to grow stronger and better. This is what I desired and I believe I achieved.
